It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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