Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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