She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
