i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
