How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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