i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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