Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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