Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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