mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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