if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
