You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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