omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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