I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
