I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
