So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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