Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
