she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
