Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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