She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
