Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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