I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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