So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
