So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
