worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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