He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
