hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
