Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
