mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
