1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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