I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There's always time for handjobs
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
