GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize