The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
