it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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