WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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