Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize