i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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