Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
