i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
