the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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