There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
All the doctor said was why
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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