um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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