That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
