My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have already put on my inside pants.
You were trust falling into bushes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
