im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
