I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
