I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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