How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
