I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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