people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
