I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
