someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i out mim tonsoeep
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