Fuck appropriateness.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
