i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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