Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
