Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
