I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
