Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
